Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Almost, but not quite.

I almost forgot to post today!  But I didn't quite.  Here I am, checking in.

Today was... interesting.  Work went fine, though I got Starbucks for breakfast and delivery food for lunch.  Not the best nutritional choices.  Then I had personal training after work.  It was hard!  My trainer, Robert, pushes me hard and is constantly encouraging me to make good choices.  I really appreciate that quality in him.  Even when I sometimes don't want to hear it.

After work and the workout, I had a rough ride home.  It wasn't traffic... it was just my emotions.  *TMI Alert* I realized that I'm about 10 days out from my period, which is when I tend to experience PMS.  I'll have a day or two of slightly higher than usual anxiety, which usually just makes me really want a hug or someone to cuddle with. Most of the time, these days align with when I see my boyfriend, D - so I don't really notice the extra emotions.  But sometimes, like today, the PMS hits me hard and makes me super sad that today was the ONE day this week that I'm spending without him.  Blah.

But instead of getting TOO down I kept busy.  I made a freezer pizza - it was all I had and I didn't feel like shopping.  I watched last week's Season 2 premier of The Good Place.  I drew myself a hot bath, turned off all the lights in my apartment, and lit a candle.  Then D called and I talked to him for half an hour or so while I soaked.  The self care helped.

I am very slowly learning how to take good care of myself without using food.  Candle baths are a favorite option, one I need to use more.  Coloring is good.  Reading is always on the table. I love a good hour or so sitting outside on my balcony couch. And to be honest, sometimes spending a little bit of cash on a new book or a pedicure or a pair of shoes isn't the end of the world.

Tonight I bought two copies of a book called 101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged.  Next Monday is our 6 month dating anniversary, and D and I have had engagement and marriage come up a lot more often in our conversations lately.  It's a topic that's on both our minds, clearly, which is so incredibly exciting.  I fully believe that D is the man God has always intended for me, and I couldn't be more pleased.  But I also think that we still have plenty of depth to discover about each other in our relationship.  So, I'm hoping we will both enjoy reading this book and asking each other these questions.

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