Monday, April 9, 2012

quick update

Someone is playing trombone very loudly and BADLY next door in the house full of hipsters who live there. YIKES I hope they stop before I go to bed.

With that out of the way, here is the real update...

I weighed in on Saturday and am down 2.6 pounds for the last two weeks. Awesomesauce! I'll happily take 2.6 pounds.

Went to the gym tonight and Josh killed me. Okay maybe not killed me, but I am going to be HURTING for the next day or two. We did a failure day, which means we did 3 machines, 5 sets of 20 on each machine, at weights so high that I couldn't finish a set without help. I love this kind of workout. It hurts so good. It also made me almost throw up a couple times, but I didn't. Good job, body.

I went to the dentist this morning and my regular dentist was there. And SHE said the guy who I saw last time (a sub) was an idiot and didn't know what he was doing when he said I would have to get my crown remade. He didn't even TRY to adjust the crown... she did though, and after a little drilling to sand down a few spots, guess what? It fit perfectly. So HOORAY for that, I have my permanent crown on now. Hopefully this one lasts longer than 1 year. We shall see.

I had a lovely Easter weekend. Saturday was most fun, as I hung out with my friend Emily, her boyfriend, and her brother who was in town for the weekend. We saw The Hunger Games at a super fancy theater where we sat in something called "The Skybox" which is really just a balcony with cushy leather chairs. Oh, and this theater had beer... I now no longer want to see movies anywhere else. It was even GOOD beer! Fat Tire. Mmmm.

Sunday I got up super early and went to the Easter Sunrise Service at Red Rocks with some friends. It was awesome! I am sure I will go again next year too. It's so fun to get there when it is pitch black and actually get to watch the sun rise. Then I went to two services at my own church. The rest of the day I was pretty much a zombie, since I had to wake up at 3:45 AM.

That's all I have for now, I guess. Sorry posting is so sporadic these days, but don't think I've fallen off the wagon! I am way more active over at MyFitnessPal.

Have a good evening my friends!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

stress and anxiety

I'm stressed. So stressed that my anxiety is starting to kick in, which rarely happens. I am used to handling my depression, but when I'm also dealing with anxiety everything gets harder. Anxiety makes it harder for me to breathe... I can only get a good, full breath maybe 10% of the time. I have an emergency enhaler but it doesn't really do a whole lot. I couldn't even finish my workout yesterday because breathing was really uncomfortable. So for the next day or two, I'm just trying to relax as much as possible. Going to take a bath tonight I think, or else a really hot shower.

But back to stress.

There's work stress, friendship stress (or, lack of friendship stress), and then there is stress that I put on myself, especially when it comes to eating.

I went to training last night and spent the better part of an hour just talking to Josh... he is like my own personal Bob or Jillian, hahaha. He totally gets that a lot of the process of losing weight and becoming healthier is mental, and he is helping me work through things and look at things differently. (And I can't thank him enough, really, at this point he is working with me for free...)

For example, yesterday he asked me about how my food was, and I told him that most of the time it was good but a day or two out of every week I just couldn't control it. We talked about it for about 15 minutes or so - what I was eating, etc.

Then he did some math, and showed me just how long we spent focusing on my bad decisions (including % of calories from the bad food that I chose to eat), and compared it to how long we spent talking about my good food decisions.

He really got me to see that I need to be focusing more on my good decisions. And I shouldn't be stressing about being perfect, either. I don't usually log my bad food days, or if I do, I log them a day or two after they happened. It's definitely something that I need to work on.

Anyway, I don't think there is much more of a point to this. I just wanted to have it written down to refer back to and remind myself of.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

2 Awesome Stories Directly Related to Spin Class

I posted on my wall (at MFP) this afternoon, asking if my friends thought it was a good idea to do a spin class directly following strength training. I got a lot of resounding YES votes, so I went home, threw gym clothes on, and hightailed it to the gym in order to have the time to do both.


The 5:30 spin class finished, and all of us in the 6:30 came in and staked claim on our bikes while the earlier class wiped them down. My favorite bike had been used by a woman who is in my Saturday spin class, and we got to talking. I wanted to make sure she wasn't doing both classes, and that it was okay to take her bike.

Her: "Nope, not doing 2 tonight, but I have before!

Me: "Wow! I don't think I could do that. I can do 3 a week, but not 2 back to back."

Her: "Sure you can! I've seen you ride, you're really good!"

Wow - that was not the reply I was expecting. Honestly, I was completely floored, and very flattered. We talked for a few more minutes about biking and spin class with our favorite instructors. By the time we said "Bye, see you Saturday!" she had me convinved not only to seriously consider buying a bike, but to do both Saturday classes. I don't know if she knows that she did those things - but she really challenged me.

As soon as class was over I went to the desk and signed up for the 9:00 class on Saturday in addition to the 10:00 that I was already signed up for.


I'm not going to lie. Part of the reason I decided to do both strength and cardio tonight was so that I'd have more exercise calories. I very well may have skipped the gym but the thought of a Frosty and french fries kept me from being a lazy bum tonight. I really, really wanted a Frosty and french fries - even the smallest size of both.

But, by the time I had finished my hour and a half long workout... I felt completely exhausted... and thoroughly ROCK STAR AWESOME. And I couldn't stomach the thought of feeding myself ice cream and french fries. The thought of it made me sick. Pretty amazing, right?

So I came home, fixed myself a giant bowl of 2 eggs and 2 egg whites with salsa and fresh goat cheese, and a normal sized bowl of cereal. Later I'll have a fruit smoothie. I think my body will appreciate all of this much more than fast food.
Not saying I won't have fast food in the future, because of COURSE I will.

But not tonight.

Monday, March 5, 2012

the second time around

Last week: 251.6

This week: 250.6 (-1)

I'll take a pound down, especially a pound in such a stressful week when tracking calories was kind of on the back burner for me. I had several days when I was a couple hundred calories over, and last night I had a complete meltdown and ate a hot pocket and ice cream for dinner.

Losing weight the second time around is tough. When I first started and I was 4 weeks in, I had lost something crazy like 17 pounds. I'm at 9.5 right now - and I know that 9.5 pounds is AWESOME... but it's hard not to compare it to last time, you know?

One thing I am doing differently this time is that I am eating the calories I burn when I exercise. This is something I learned on MyFitnessPal. If you are eating at a deficit to lose x # of pounds per week - you will lose that much whether or not you exercise. When you exercise, you are creating an even BIGGER deficit, and the energy you used to fuel your workout needs to be replaced with more food.

I wasn't eating enough the last time I was losing weight. I was eating between 1,200-1,500 most days, and also going to the gym for 1-2 hours a day most days. I am sure on some days I was netting way less than the recommended 1,200 calories/day. Which explains why I lost so fast at first... but I also think this explains why the weight came back on with such alarming speed when I stopped tracking.

Hopefully I'm doing it right this time around... and hopefully this is the LAST time around.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Monday Weigh In Kickoff

Weight from 2 weeks ago: 254.4

Today's weight: 251.6 (-2.8)

Heck yeah! I'll take 2.8 pounds in 2 weeks! Hoping that next Monday I will be back in the 240s. In which case I deserve a reward... who has a good suggestion? (That is not food related...)

I went to the gym tonight to work with my trainer... and I got there and he said... "I don't have you til Wednesday." Okay. I know for sure that we scheduled for today. And maybe he is a flake, but I swear he said Monday. Grrrr. Oh well, I still got a workout in. Went as hard as I could on the elliptical for half an hour and left a sweaty mess.

This week is going to be a crazy one. Tomorrow is dress rehearsal, training Wednesday, girls night (dinner and Glee) with two of my best Denver girlfriends on Thursday, and choir concerts on Friday and Saturday. Plus on Saturday I am going to 9am spin class then going to my friend Emily's apartment for breakfast cooked by her boyfriend. YUMMmmmm. Emily and I are also buying our midnight tickets for opening night of THE HUNGER GAMES next month!!! Hooray!

Lastly, in my recent foray back into country music, I have discovered the Zac Brown Band. And they make me ridiculously happy. How can you not smile listening to this?

Saturday, February 25, 2012

reworking stuff

I know I am overdue for a post, and that Friday was supposed to be weigh in day! The truth is, Fridays aren't great weigh ins for me anymore. Lately, Mondays have been a lot better. So, I think I'm going to switch it up and start doing Monday weigh ins. On Friday I was 254 even... I don't even remember what the last one was that I posted, since I've been weighing both Friday and Monday, haha. After sneaking a peak at the scale this morning - I am hoping that number sticks around until Monday when I shall kick off official Monday weigh ins.

Other than that, things are going well right now! I'm really feeling my depression meds a lot, which is so great. It is awesome to feel motivated again, whether that is motivation to go to the gym, to eat healthy, or even just to go hang out with friends. I love that my energy is coming back.

As far as health goes, I'm logging all my food and exercise over at MyFitnessPal. (Oh, and if any of you all want to be friends over there, my username is kaitimae.) One thing I notice that I struggle with is getting enough protein in my diet. I just don't get enough, no matter what I do or eat. So, I am branching out and trying protein powder. I got two flavors of a Whey Protein Powder at Walmart. I am excited to start using it, especially with how much I'm working out!

Today is SO beautiful here in Denver. I took the long way on my errands so I could drive with my windows down and my country music on loud. It was so pleasant and fun! The rest of the day is filled with hockey (Red Wings meetup at the bar) and a birthday party downtown for one of my choir friends. Needless to say, it was a good thing I went to Spin class this morning and burned up a bunch of calories... cause they are all going to be spent tonight when I'm out on the town. =)

Hope all of you are enjoying your weekend!

Monday, February 20, 2012

upset and mad

I have had such a rough time with this tooth. It was a little less than 2 years ago that I first started having problems with it.

I was supposed to go in today and have my crown glued back on again. I talked to the receptionist on Friday and she was going back and forth on what time my appointment for today was. FIrst it was 2, then it was 1. I finally got her to CONFIRM that it was, in fact, 1:00.

I get there at 1 this afternoon. And the office maganger says, "Oh but your appointment isn't until 2! Everyone is on lunch break from 1-2." REALLY. REALLY!?!?!?!

I was so upset I pretty much just burst into tears in the lobby of the dentist's office.

They were very apologetic and told me I could wait and hang out in the lobby. I did for about 10 minutes and when I still couldn't stop tearing up, I just left. I told the one person who was still there that I would call back after 2. I just couldn't stay there anymore.

Then I went to Ikea. And bought a bunch of stuff. Most of it is stuff I need... a few things were impulse purchases. But I still didn't spend too much. Yay Ikea.

Did a little bit of stress eating... but I was also starving, since I hadn't eaten in 5 hours. Had a slice of pizza and an Ikea cinnamon roll. However, I am ALSO going to be hitting the gym hard tonight. 30 minutes on a treadmill to start 1/2 marathon training, and then I'm going to get into one of the spin classes tonight.

I'm upset about my tooth. But I think what is bothering me more is that I am upset because I am losing someone who used to be a really good friend. It is unbelievably hard to let go of a friendship that just last year I valued so much. I am also upset because I am really struggling with my feelings about my church, and feeling very hurt by some people there.

I am glad that I am writing blogs again though, instead of binge eating. Because I could have binged really badly today.

Saturday, February 18, 2012

catching up

Hey everyone!

I meant to post more this week and I just didn't get around to it. Especially yesterday... weigh in day. Let's just say, I had a couple bad days this week, and I was up a little. However, I weighed in again this morning and was slightly lower than last week's weigh in. I decided that I will wait and weigh in on Monday. By then, it will be a more accurate, and hopefully lower, number.

Made a cheese quesadilla this morning and then headed out the door to spin class. I never ever ever thought I would love spinning as much as I do. It is SO much fun. We had a little glitch in class today, the music system decided to quit halfway through. The majority of us decided to stay though, and our instructor did a great job making the rest of the class just as fun and maybe even more difficult than the first half. Signed up for next week's class while I was there. But hopefully I'll get to the gym again before next Saturday.

I am always jealous of the people who sweat so much they leave puddles on the floor. It's gross, to be sure. But you can tell they were working hard. And I work so hard, and I can never do that. However, when I get in my car to go home and lean back... yep, I can feel that my shirt is soaked. The sweat just never made it to the floor, hahaha. I really don't know what the point to this story is. I like sweating?

Agenda for the rest of the day is LAUNDRY (my least favorite chore... ugh), tidy up my room after laundry, grocery shop, a quick pit stop at Bed Bath and BEYONNNNDDD for something that will make my sheets stay on my bed and not slide off, aanndd catch up on my hulu shows while I do my chores.

I suppose I better shower first. But then it is off to tackle the rest of the day. Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

(P.S. Anyone else have a 3-day weekend? LOVE government days off.)

Saturday, February 11, 2012

spinning and pancakes

Got up a little early (okay, like 8:30 - early for a Saturday) and made it to the gym just after 9 to sign up for the 10 AM spin class. I also signed up for next week's class, so I don't have to come an hour early. Since I had an hour to kill I went over to Target and grabbed a water bottle and some towels... for some reason I could not find either of my regular workout towels. Oh well... now I have 2 new ones to add to the rotation.

My housemates got to the gym just before 10. Mike went to go do who knows what, and Suzanne came to class with me. It was SO GREAT to be back in spin class. Since it was the first time I've done it since November, it did hurt a little, but it wasn't completely unbearable. Once we were about 20 minutes in the endorphins kicked in and I felt AWESOME! So glad I got up and went this morning. It was totally worth it. It's also great knowing that I got my workout out of the way first thing.

With such a great burn, I could afford (calorically) to come home and splurge a little. I made half a batch of blueberry pancakes and topped them with peanut butter, and a syrup that I made. I had a ton of blueberries, so what I didn't put in the pancakes, I threw in a small pot, and added a snack sized cup of Dole Pears in pear juice. Then I just brought it all to a boil and let it cook down. It was SERIOUSLY tasty... here is a picture:

(not pictured: 2 pancakes that made up the rest of the batch)

The rest of the day... I am hopefully going to get some laundry done, and then I am babysitting tonight for my former personal trainer's kids. One is 9 or 10, and the other is just a baby... so that will be super fun.

How's Saturday going for y'all? Any good workouts planned - or done?

Friday, February 10, 2012

weigh in and blog cleanup

Hi friends! Greta (my cat) is sitting on my lap and helping me write this. So far I have had to fix 3 typos she made.

First, let's get to the weigh in! This morning I was 255.8, which is 4.4 pounds down from 260.2 on Monday. AWESOME! Not even a whole week, and 4.4 pounds gone. I will take it, and look forward to next Friday, when I will have lost even more.

I am working on cleaning up the blog. It's kind of dusty over here. I just finished the "Progress" tab and I did the "Good Reads" the other day. I will probably get myself a new background or something soon, just to really put in place the fresh start.

For now, I am going to get ready for the gym. My housemates Mike and Suzanne have 3 day passes to 24 Hour Fitness, so we are all going to the gym together. FUN! I hope they get memberships - it would be sooooo much fun to have people to go with regularly.

I hope you are all having a great Friday!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

kind of a weird day (overly emotional drama warning)

It's been interesting, to say the least.

First, in terms of energy, it's been pretty good! I didn't get to the gym, but I'm not worried about that. I've decided not to beat myself up about that anymore. I'm still kind of recovering from whatever this sickness is that I've had since November, and I honestly don't think more rest is going to hurt me at this point. For now, I'm just working hard on sticking to my calorie goals. The gym isn't going anywhere.

What made today more interesting is that I decided (with the help of some MFP friends) to email a friend of mine that I haven't really talked to in a couple months. He had been one of my closest friends in Denver. He started dating a mutual friend of ours... which hurt, because right before he started dating her, I had told him I was interested in him. Looking back, I think they were together before I told him - which sucks even more. Anyway. The first couple months of them dating was fine. We still hung out, though maybe not as often.

But in the past 8 weeks or so... I have hardly heard from him at all. I saw him on Christmas Eve and we didn't get much of a chance to talk - and that's it. We went from talking every day on Gchat to not talking at all, and I have felt so, so lonely and hurt because of that. I have lots of other friends, but to have one that you were so close to just stop talking to you altogether... I feel kind of like our friendship was broken up.

So I sent him an email today just saying "Hey. We haven't talked in like 2 months. What's up with that?" He replied and made an excuse about work and asked how I was. I wrote back a little bit about what has been going on with me (just general stuff) and then asked if he wanted to grab coffee before or after church sometime. He hasn't answered that one yet.

Anyway - somehow, I just have a gut feeling that the busy/work excuse... is just that. An excuse. Not a real reason. He never stopped talking to me when he dated girls before this one. Is it just because I know her too? I don't know. It hurts. I'm not trying to be anything other than his friend... and I would hope that BOTH of them would realize that, especially since I was friends with both of them separately before they ever got together. I am not the type of person to even WANT to break up a relationship... I would never do that. I just want my friend back. Maybe that's not possible.

So that's what's going on with me tonight. Feeling overly emotional and taking it out by writing this instead of eating. That's good at least.

Monday, February 6, 2012

back at it

MyFitnessPal is down right now, so I guess I am composing the blog here instead of there tonight!

In the past year and a half I've managed to gain back everything that I had lost. It has been absolutely miserable. I didn't realize how bad things were when I first started - but since losing the weight and gaining it all back - oh, it is so much worse this time around. Extremely frustrating. And about one thousand times more embarrassing.

I weighed in this morning - I didn't really want to start on a Monday, and I will probably weigh in again on Friday and then stick to Fridays after that. So, the bad news: 260.2. The good news: that will go down again.

I'm having a hard time finding the energy to work out. I know I should just suck it up and get it done. But it is SO hard to get out of bed in the morning, even when I have slept for 9+ hours. This means I'm going to have to start packing a gym bag and going straight from work. Which is a lot more doable. I'll still be tired, but at least I'll be awake.

I'm trying my best to log all my food at MFP. I know - I shouldn't try. I should just do it. Period. Luckily, I have some awesome and supportive friends who are extremely encouraging!

I scratched my eye this morning... still feeling kind of weird. It doesn't hurt - but it's irritated and goes in and out of being blurry. Hoping it will feel better tomorrow, otherwise, I'll go into the eye doctor and make sure it's alright.

I guess that's it for tonight. Back to The Voice!

Saturday, February 4, 2012

FitBit vs. BodyBugg

When I was training this past fall at 24 Hour Fitness, my trainer was awesome enough to lend me a BodyBugg to use. I returned it today because I haven't been using it and he needs it for some of his other clients. But, I'm cool with that, because I just got a FitBit last week! Having had experience with both gadgets, here are my comparisons, in case anyone here is thinking of getting one or the other! Sorry in advance that this is going to be long.


BodyBugg: You wear the BodyBugg on an armband around the upper part of your left arm. It has sensors that have contact with your skin. The first few days wearing the BodyBugg, it was no problem. Even a week or two in, it was fine. Then, it started to get annoying. It has a velcro bit on it so you can adjust how it fits. And it started poking me... and my skin was not pleased. I had a little bit of a rash where I was wearing the armband. Also, unless you are wearing a longsleeve shirt, the BodyBugg is very obvious.

FitBit: The FitBit is small, and there are many ways and places to wear it. You can clip it to an article of clothing, a pocket, a belt, or you can put it in a little holder and use that to clip it to something. Or, you can just throw it in your pocket. I like to clip mine to the center of my bra - no one even knows I am wearing it, except for me. Nice!

Computer/Website/Technical Stuff

BodyBugg: To get any information off your BodyBugg, you have to log into their website, and plug your BodyBugg into your computer via a USB cable. Then, it can tell you how many calories you have burned. Their website also has a food compontent where you can log your food. Okay. Their graphs and charts and stuff are cool. But their food database? HORRIBLE. TERRIBLE. Seriously awful. It is very limited and at least on my computer (a MacBook) took for-freaking-ever to load anything. I cannot tell you how many times I got so frustrated trying to log my food that I just quit logging for the day. Sometimes it would take me upwards of half an hour to log my food on the BodyBugg website.

FitBit: The FitBit has a display on the device. It has 1 button, and you can press the button repeatedly to scroll through information, including Steps Taken, Distance, Calories Burned, and Floors Climbed. It also has a clock. And a cute flower that gets bigger the more active you are. I like that you can check where you are at anytime of the day, even if you aren't near your computer! FitBit comes with a charger that also transmits your data to the FitBit website every 15 minutes if you are in range of it. (It has to be plugged into your computer for this to work - also with a USB cable.) I like that you don't HAVE to take it off and plug it in to see your results on the website. The FitBit website also communicates with MFP, if you so choose. (I DO!) That means I can log all my food over here at MFP, and MFP will tell FitBit what my calorie consumption is. If I exercise, FitBit will send a calorie admustment to MFP that adjusts my daily goal - that means I don't have to add my exercise on MFP in order to get my exercise calories. Yay! Less work for me. Plus, the MFP database is leaps and bounds ahead of BodyBugg's. It takes just a minute or two to enter food on MFP.

Both devices charge by being plugged into your computer via USB cable.


BodyBugg: When you first set up the BodyBugg there is a lot to do. The website takes you through a guided questionaire that asks the regular stuff like age, weight, height, but then also makes you fill out a long series of questions regarding food and lifestyle. It took about 20 minutes.

FitBit: To set up the FitBit, you plug in the base to your computer, and put the FitBit on the base. It asks you the same basic stuff as the BodyBugg - but stops after the basics. It was quite a bit quicker and easier than I expected.

Both devices require setting up accounts on their websites - this part is pretty fast and is basically putting in your email and selecting a password.


BodyBugg: I actually had to go to the website to find out how much a BodyBugg costs. BodyBuggs start at $129 and come with a limited-term membership on their website. After however long that is (I think it is like 5-7 months), you have to start paying for a membership to the BodyBugg website if you want to keep using it to track your information. At least, this is how I think it works. If I am incorrect here, feel free to correct me!

FitBit: My FitBit was $99. The use of the FitBit website is free. The use of MFP is free.


I'm not going to do 2 different things here - I think both of these work pretty well in terms of accuracy. Sometimes the FitBit overestimates the flights of stairs I climb, but that is due to the fact that it calculates stairs by elevation gain. Living in Denver... I think I'm just going to have to put up with it not gauging my stairs accurately. Oh well.

One more thing I like about the FitBit - if you didn't think it logged something accurately, it allows you to manually enter the activity/calories on their website. I never did figure out how, or even if you could, do that with the BodyBugg.

Sleep Tracking

One thing the FitBit does that the BodyBugg does not, is track your sleep. You definitely keep wearing your BodyBugg while you sleep, but it doesn't really track anything at all. The FitBit has a soft wrist holder for sleep, and you let it know you are going to sleep by holding down the button for 3 seconds until a stopwatch starts going. When you wake up in the morning, hold down the button again and turn the stopwatch off. This is how the FitBit knows how long you were asleep. It will also tell you how often you wake up during the night, and how efficient your sleep was. This past Wednesday night I slept for 9 hours and 15 minutes, and woke up 7 times in the night. My sleep efficiency for that night was 98%. This isn't necessarily something you need - but it is a pretty neat thing to track!

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner
FitBit. At least for me. =)

Okay... that is all I can think of to compare for now. If you have questions about one or the other, or have an idea of what else to compare - please let me know and I will edit the blog to include it! Hope this is helpful!

Oh hey... I'm back. =)

Hey everyone! If you are also following me on MFP, I am going to be posting the same blogs both places. Just an FYI! Oh, and HEY I'M BACK!!!!

I spent 6 months in 2009 and 2010 losing 50 pounds. Then I got a new job, lost my momentum... and in the following months, gained everything back... plus a few pounds. It was, and is, so frustrating.

One thing my counselor asked me a few weeks ago was "What was different then from what you are trying to do now?" Thinking about it, there were two things that really stood out to me. ONE was that I was writing this blog. TWO is that apart from moral support from my blog followers and a few close friends/family, I was doing it on my own. I worked out on my own.

Is that a really big difference? I don't know. Once I got my new job, I also started working with a trainer. And I did not lose weight working with her - I gained weight. While I also got a LOT stronger... I should have been losing, not gaining. I wasn't eating right and that really screwed me up. Even having another, trained, person there helping me... something didn't click. Then I worked with a trainer at my new gym (as of fall 2011), and it still didn't feel right.

So, I am kind of wondering if this isn't something that I need to do on my own.

I'm not talking about support - or even tracking calories. I love all my MFP (and Blogger!) friends and it would be SO much harder to go through this process without you all.

I DESPERATELY need to start working out again. But I don't think I need to work with a trainer. That thought is kind of a relief.

I started thinking about this all because I took the BodyBugg that my trainer lent me back to the gym. One of the guys at the front desk was glad to see me and asked where I had been, and I explained that I have been pretty sick these past couple months. He asked me if I was going to start training again and I didn't even really need to think about it. I just said "You know... I don't think so." And of course he asked why (cause it is his job to sell the packages, haha) and I didn't really explain. I just told him I was still kind of sick and not ready.

Trainers are great resources, and lots of them help lots of people lose lots of weight. But so far, they haven't been totally right for me. I would love to work with one when I get close to my goal weight, and I may work with one for a few sessions later on to set up a weight training plan. But that's it.

I have to trust that I can do this all again, and I have to trust that it is going to be okay to do it on my own. I'm kind of excited about it. I'm going to take the next week or so to work out outside - walking, getting my distance built back up to 2-3 miles at a time. Then I'm going to start training for the Colfax Half Marathon in May. Once I start feeling a little better I'll head back to the gym and start doing spinning classes and maybe some other stuff as well. But with the fact that I am still not feeling even 75% yet, I'm going to ease back into things.

I'm also going to start writing blogs again. =) I know I owe you guys a FitBit vs. BodyBugg write up - see the blog posted after this one!