Someone is playing trombone very loudly and BADLY next door in the house full of hipsters who live there. YIKES I hope they stop before I go to bed.
With that out of the way, here is the real update...
I weighed in on Saturday and am down 2.6 pounds for the last two weeks. Awesomesauce! I'll happily take 2.6 pounds.
Went to the gym tonight and Josh killed me. Okay maybe not killed me, but I am going to be HURTING for the next day or two. We did a failure day, which means we did 3 machines, 5 sets of 20 on each machine, at weights so high that I couldn't finish a set without help. I love this kind of workout. It hurts so good. It also made me almost throw up a couple times, but I didn't. Good job, body.
I went to the dentist this morning and my regular dentist was there. And SHE said the guy who I saw last time (a sub) was an idiot and didn't know what he was doing when he said I would have to get my crown remade. He didn't even TRY to adjust the crown... she did though, and after a little drilling to sand down a few spots, guess what? It fit perfectly. So HOORAY for that, I have my permanent crown on now. Hopefully this one lasts longer than 1 year. We shall see.
I had a lovely Easter weekend. Saturday was most fun, as I hung out with my friend Emily, her boyfriend, and her brother who was in town for the weekend. We saw The Hunger Games at a super fancy theater where we sat in something called "The Skybox" which is really just a balcony with cushy leather chairs. Oh, and this theater had beer... I now no longer want to see movies anywhere else. It was even GOOD beer! Fat Tire. Mmmm.
Sunday I got up super early and went to the Easter Sunrise Service at Red Rocks with some friends. It was awesome! I am sure I will go again next year too. It's so fun to get there when it is pitch black and actually get to watch the sun rise. Then I went to two services at my own church. The rest of the day I was pretty much a zombie, since I had to wake up at 3:45 AM.
That's all I have for now, I guess. Sorry posting is so sporadic these days, but don't think I've fallen off the wagon! I am way more active over at MyFitnessPal.
Have a good evening my friends!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
stress and anxiety
I'm stressed. So stressed that my anxiety is starting to kick in, which rarely happens. I am used to handling my depression, but when I'm also dealing with anxiety everything gets harder. Anxiety makes it harder for me to breathe... I can only get a good, full breath maybe 10% of the time. I have an emergency enhaler but it doesn't really do a whole lot. I couldn't even finish my workout yesterday because breathing was really uncomfortable. So for the next day or two, I'm just trying to relax as much as possible. Going to take a bath tonight I think, or else a really hot shower.
But back to stress.
There's work stress, friendship stress (or, lack of friendship stress), and then there is stress that I put on myself, especially when it comes to eating.
I went to training last night and spent the better part of an hour just talking to Josh... he is like my own personal Bob or Jillian, hahaha. He totally gets that a lot of the process of losing weight and becoming healthier is mental, and he is helping me work through things and look at things differently. (And I can't thank him enough, really, at this point he is working with me for free...)
For example, yesterday he asked me about how my food was, and I told him that most of the time it was good but a day or two out of every week I just couldn't control it. We talked about it for about 15 minutes or so - what I was eating, etc.
Then he did some math, and showed me just how long we spent focusing on my bad decisions (including % of calories from the bad food that I chose to eat), and compared it to how long we spent talking about my good food decisions.
He really got me to see that I need to be focusing more on my good decisions. And I shouldn't be stressing about being perfect, either. I don't usually log my bad food days, or if I do, I log them a day or two after they happened. It's definitely something that I need to work on.
Anyway, I don't think there is much more of a point to this. I just wanted to have it written down to refer back to and remind myself of.
But back to stress.
There's work stress, friendship stress (or, lack of friendship stress), and then there is stress that I put on myself, especially when it comes to eating.
I went to training last night and spent the better part of an hour just talking to Josh... he is like my own personal Bob or Jillian, hahaha. He totally gets that a lot of the process of losing weight and becoming healthier is mental, and he is helping me work through things and look at things differently. (And I can't thank him enough, really, at this point he is working with me for free...)
For example, yesterday he asked me about how my food was, and I told him that most of the time it was good but a day or two out of every week I just couldn't control it. We talked about it for about 15 minutes or so - what I was eating, etc.
Then he did some math, and showed me just how long we spent focusing on my bad decisions (including % of calories from the bad food that I chose to eat), and compared it to how long we spent talking about my good food decisions.
He really got me to see that I need to be focusing more on my good decisions. And I shouldn't be stressing about being perfect, either. I don't usually log my bad food days, or if I do, I log them a day or two after they happened. It's definitely something that I need to work on.
Anyway, I don't think there is much more of a point to this. I just wanted to have it written down to refer back to and remind myself of.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
2 Awesome Stories Directly Related to Spin Class
I posted on my wall (at MFP) this afternoon, asking if my friends thought it was a good idea to do a spin class directly following strength training. I got a lot of resounding YES votes, so I went home, threw gym clothes on, and hightailed it to the gym in order to have the time to do both.
STORY #1
The 5:30 spin class finished, and all of us in the 6:30 came in and staked claim on our bikes while the earlier class wiped them down. My favorite bike had been used by a woman who is in my Saturday spin class, and we got to talking. I wanted to make sure she wasn't doing both classes, and that it was okay to take her bike.
Her: "Nope, not doing 2 tonight, but I have before!
Me: "Wow! I don't think I could do that. I can do 3 a week, but not 2 back to back."
Her: "Sure you can! I've seen you ride, you're really good!"
Wow - that was not the reply I was expecting. Honestly, I was completely floored, and very flattered. We talked for a few more minutes about biking and spin class with our favorite instructors. By the time we said "Bye, see you Saturday!" she had me convinved not only to seriously consider buying a bike, but to do both Saturday classes. I don't know if she knows that she did those things - but she really challenged me.
As soon as class was over I went to the desk and signed up for the 9:00 class on Saturday in addition to the 10:00 that I was already signed up for.
STORY #2
I'm not going to lie. Part of the reason I decided to do both strength and cardio tonight was so that I'd have more exercise calories. I very well may have skipped the gym but the thought of a Frosty and french fries kept me from being a lazy bum tonight. I really, really wanted a Frosty and french fries - even the smallest size of both.
But, by the time I had finished my hour and a half long workout... I felt completely exhausted... and thoroughly ROCK STAR AWESOME. And I couldn't stomach the thought of feeding myself ice cream and french fries. The thought of it made me sick. Pretty amazing, right?
So I came home, fixed myself a giant bowl of 2 eggs and 2 egg whites with salsa and fresh goat cheese, and a normal sized bowl of cereal. Later I'll have a fruit smoothie. I think my body will appreciate all of this much more than fast food.
Not saying I won't have fast food in the future, because of COURSE I will.
But not tonight.
STORY #1
The 5:30 spin class finished, and all of us in the 6:30 came in and staked claim on our bikes while the earlier class wiped them down. My favorite bike had been used by a woman who is in my Saturday spin class, and we got to talking. I wanted to make sure she wasn't doing both classes, and that it was okay to take her bike.
Her: "Nope, not doing 2 tonight, but I have before!
Me: "Wow! I don't think I could do that. I can do 3 a week, but not 2 back to back."
Her: "Sure you can! I've seen you ride, you're really good!"
Wow - that was not the reply I was expecting. Honestly, I was completely floored, and very flattered. We talked for a few more minutes about biking and spin class with our favorite instructors. By the time we said "Bye, see you Saturday!" she had me convinved not only to seriously consider buying a bike, but to do both Saturday classes. I don't know if she knows that she did those things - but she really challenged me.
As soon as class was over I went to the desk and signed up for the 9:00 class on Saturday in addition to the 10:00 that I was already signed up for.
STORY #2
I'm not going to lie. Part of the reason I decided to do both strength and cardio tonight was so that I'd have more exercise calories. I very well may have skipped the gym but the thought of a Frosty and french fries kept me from being a lazy bum tonight. I really, really wanted a Frosty and french fries - even the smallest size of both.
But, by the time I had finished my hour and a half long workout... I felt completely exhausted... and thoroughly ROCK STAR AWESOME. And I couldn't stomach the thought of feeding myself ice cream and french fries. The thought of it made me sick. Pretty amazing, right?
So I came home, fixed myself a giant bowl of 2 eggs and 2 egg whites with salsa and fresh goat cheese, and a normal sized bowl of cereal. Later I'll have a fruit smoothie. I think my body will appreciate all of this much more than fast food.
Not saying I won't have fast food in the future, because of COURSE I will.
But not tonight.
Monday, March 5, 2012
the second time around
Last week: 251.6
This week: 250.6 (-1)
I'll take a pound down, especially a pound in such a stressful week when tracking calories was kind of on the back burner for me. I had several days when I was a couple hundred calories over, and last night I had a complete meltdown and ate a hot pocket and ice cream for dinner.
Losing weight the second time around is tough. When I first started and I was 4 weeks in, I had lost something crazy like 17 pounds. I'm at 9.5 right now - and I know that 9.5 pounds is AWESOME... but it's hard not to compare it to last time, you know?
One thing I am doing differently this time is that I am eating the calories I burn when I exercise. This is something I learned on MyFitnessPal. If you are eating at a deficit to lose x # of pounds per week - you will lose that much whether or not you exercise. When you exercise, you are creating an even BIGGER deficit, and the energy you used to fuel your workout needs to be replaced with more food.
I wasn't eating enough the last time I was losing weight. I was eating between 1,200-1,500 most days, and also going to the gym for 1-2 hours a day most days. I am sure on some days I was netting way less than the recommended 1,200 calories/day. Which explains why I lost so fast at first... but I also think this explains why the weight came back on with such alarming speed when I stopped tracking.
Hopefully I'm doing it right this time around... and hopefully this is the LAST time around.
This week: 250.6 (-1)
I'll take a pound down, especially a pound in such a stressful week when tracking calories was kind of on the back burner for me. I had several days when I was a couple hundred calories over, and last night I had a complete meltdown and ate a hot pocket and ice cream for dinner.
Losing weight the second time around is tough. When I first started and I was 4 weeks in, I had lost something crazy like 17 pounds. I'm at 9.5 right now - and I know that 9.5 pounds is AWESOME... but it's hard not to compare it to last time, you know?
One thing I am doing differently this time is that I am eating the calories I burn when I exercise. This is something I learned on MyFitnessPal. If you are eating at a deficit to lose x # of pounds per week - you will lose that much whether or not you exercise. When you exercise, you are creating an even BIGGER deficit, and the energy you used to fuel your workout needs to be replaced with more food.
I wasn't eating enough the last time I was losing weight. I was eating between 1,200-1,500 most days, and also going to the gym for 1-2 hours a day most days. I am sure on some days I was netting way less than the recommended 1,200 calories/day. Which explains why I lost so fast at first... but I also think this explains why the weight came back on with such alarming speed when I stopped tracking.
Hopefully I'm doing it right this time around... and hopefully this is the LAST time around.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Monday Weigh In Kickoff
Weight from 2 weeks ago: 254.4
Today's weight: 251.6 (-2.8)
Heck yeah! I'll take 2.8 pounds in 2 weeks! Hoping that next Monday I will be back in the 240s. In which case I deserve a reward... who has a good suggestion? (That is not food related...)
I went to the gym tonight to work with my trainer... and I got there and he said... "I don't have you til Wednesday." Okay. I know for sure that we scheduled for today. And maybe he is a flake, but I swear he said Monday. Grrrr. Oh well, I still got a workout in. Went as hard as I could on the elliptical for half an hour and left a sweaty mess.
This week is going to be a crazy one. Tomorrow is dress rehearsal, training Wednesday, girls night (dinner and Glee) with two of my best Denver girlfriends on Thursday, and choir concerts on Friday and Saturday. Plus on Saturday I am going to 9am spin class then going to my friend Emily's apartment for breakfast cooked by her boyfriend. YUMMmmmm. Emily and I are also buying our midnight tickets for opening night of THE HUNGER GAMES next month!!! Hooray!
Lastly, in my recent foray back into country music, I have discovered the Zac Brown Band. And they make me ridiculously happy. How can you not smile listening to this?
Today's weight: 251.6 (-2.8)
Heck yeah! I'll take 2.8 pounds in 2 weeks! Hoping that next Monday I will be back in the 240s. In which case I deserve a reward... who has a good suggestion? (That is not food related...)
I went to the gym tonight to work with my trainer... and I got there and he said... "I don't have you til Wednesday." Okay. I know for sure that we scheduled for today. And maybe he is a flake, but I swear he said Monday. Grrrr. Oh well, I still got a workout in. Went as hard as I could on the elliptical for half an hour and left a sweaty mess.
This week is going to be a crazy one. Tomorrow is dress rehearsal, training Wednesday, girls night (dinner and Glee) with two of my best Denver girlfriends on Thursday, and choir concerts on Friday and Saturday. Plus on Saturday I am going to 9am spin class then going to my friend Emily's apartment for breakfast cooked by her boyfriend. YUMMmmmm. Emily and I are also buying our midnight tickets for opening night of THE HUNGER GAMES next month!!! Hooray!
Lastly, in my recent foray back into country music, I have discovered the Zac Brown Band. And they make me ridiculously happy. How can you not smile listening to this?
Saturday, February 25, 2012
reworking stuff
I know I am overdue for a post, and that Friday was supposed to be weigh in day! The truth is, Fridays aren't great weigh ins for me anymore. Lately, Mondays have been a lot better. So, I think I'm going to switch it up and start doing Monday weigh ins. On Friday I was 254 even... I don't even remember what the last one was that I posted, since I've been weighing both Friday and Monday, haha. After sneaking a peak at the scale this morning - I am hoping that number sticks around until Monday when I shall kick off official Monday weigh ins.
Other than that, things are going well right now! I'm really feeling my depression meds a lot, which is so great. It is awesome to feel motivated again, whether that is motivation to go to the gym, to eat healthy, or even just to go hang out with friends. I love that my energy is coming back.
As far as health goes, I'm logging all my food and exercise over at MyFitnessPal. (Oh, and if any of you all want to be friends over there, my username is kaitimae.) One thing I notice that I struggle with is getting enough protein in my diet. I just don't get enough, no matter what I do or eat. So, I am branching out and trying protein powder. I got two flavors of a Whey Protein Powder at Walmart. I am excited to start using it, especially with how much I'm working out!
Today is SO beautiful here in Denver. I took the long way on my errands so I could drive with my windows down and my country music on loud. It was so pleasant and fun! The rest of the day is filled with hockey (Red Wings meetup at the bar) and a birthday party downtown for one of my choir friends. Needless to say, it was a good thing I went to Spin class this morning and burned up a bunch of calories... cause they are all going to be spent tonight when I'm out on the town. =)
Hope all of you are enjoying your weekend!
Other than that, things are going well right now! I'm really feeling my depression meds a lot, which is so great. It is awesome to feel motivated again, whether that is motivation to go to the gym, to eat healthy, or even just to go hang out with friends. I love that my energy is coming back.
As far as health goes, I'm logging all my food and exercise over at MyFitnessPal. (Oh, and if any of you all want to be friends over there, my username is kaitimae.) One thing I notice that I struggle with is getting enough protein in my diet. I just don't get enough, no matter what I do or eat. So, I am branching out and trying protein powder. I got two flavors of a Whey Protein Powder at Walmart. I am excited to start using it, especially with how much I'm working out!
Today is SO beautiful here in Denver. I took the long way on my errands so I could drive with my windows down and my country music on loud. It was so pleasant and fun! The rest of the day is filled with hockey (Red Wings meetup at the bar) and a birthday party downtown for one of my choir friends. Needless to say, it was a good thing I went to Spin class this morning and burned up a bunch of calories... cause they are all going to be spent tonight when I'm out on the town. =)
Hope all of you are enjoying your weekend!
Monday, February 20, 2012
upset and mad
I have had such a rough time with this tooth. It was a little less than 2 years ago that I first started having problems with it.
I was supposed to go in today and have my crown glued back on again. I talked to the receptionist on Friday and she was going back and forth on what time my appointment for today was. FIrst it was 2, then it was 1. I finally got her to CONFIRM that it was, in fact, 1:00.
I get there at 1 this afternoon. And the office maganger says, "Oh but your appointment isn't until 2! Everyone is on lunch break from 1-2." REALLY. REALLY!?!?!?!
I was so upset I pretty much just burst into tears in the lobby of the dentist's office.
They were very apologetic and told me I could wait and hang out in the lobby. I did for about 10 minutes and when I still couldn't stop tearing up, I just left. I told the one person who was still there that I would call back after 2. I just couldn't stay there anymore.
Then I went to Ikea. And bought a bunch of stuff. Most of it is stuff I need... a few things were impulse purchases. But I still didn't spend too much. Yay Ikea.
Did a little bit of stress eating... but I was also starving, since I hadn't eaten in 5 hours. Had a slice of pizza and an Ikea cinnamon roll. However, I am ALSO going to be hitting the gym hard tonight. 30 minutes on a treadmill to start 1/2 marathon training, and then I'm going to get into one of the spin classes tonight.
I'm upset about my tooth. But I think what is bothering me more is that I am upset because I am losing someone who used to be a really good friend. It is unbelievably hard to let go of a friendship that just last year I valued so much. I am also upset because I am really struggling with my feelings about my church, and feeling very hurt by some people there.
I am glad that I am writing blogs again though, instead of binge eating. Because I could have binged really badly today.
I was supposed to go in today and have my crown glued back on again. I talked to the receptionist on Friday and she was going back and forth on what time my appointment for today was. FIrst it was 2, then it was 1. I finally got her to CONFIRM that it was, in fact, 1:00.
I get there at 1 this afternoon. And the office maganger says, "Oh but your appointment isn't until 2! Everyone is on lunch break from 1-2." REALLY. REALLY!?!?!?!
I was so upset I pretty much just burst into tears in the lobby of the dentist's office.
They were very apologetic and told me I could wait and hang out in the lobby. I did for about 10 minutes and when I still couldn't stop tearing up, I just left. I told the one person who was still there that I would call back after 2. I just couldn't stay there anymore.
Then I went to Ikea. And bought a bunch of stuff. Most of it is stuff I need... a few things were impulse purchases. But I still didn't spend too much. Yay Ikea.
Did a little bit of stress eating... but I was also starving, since I hadn't eaten in 5 hours. Had a slice of pizza and an Ikea cinnamon roll. However, I am ALSO going to be hitting the gym hard tonight. 30 minutes on a treadmill to start 1/2 marathon training, and then I'm going to get into one of the spin classes tonight.
I'm upset about my tooth. But I think what is bothering me more is that I am upset because I am losing someone who used to be a really good friend. It is unbelievably hard to let go of a friendship that just last year I valued so much. I am also upset because I am really struggling with my feelings about my church, and feeling very hurt by some people there.
I am glad that I am writing blogs again though, instead of binge eating. Because I could have binged really badly today.
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