It's been interesting, to say the least.
First, in terms of energy, it's been pretty good! I didn't get to the gym, but I'm not worried about that. I've decided not to beat myself up about that anymore. I'm still kind of recovering from whatever this sickness is that I've had since November, and I honestly don't think more rest is going to hurt me at this point. For now, I'm just working hard on sticking to my calorie goals. The gym isn't going anywhere.
What made today more interesting is that I decided (with the help of some MFP friends) to email a friend of mine that I haven't really talked to in a couple months. He had been one of my closest friends in Denver. He started dating a mutual friend of ours... which hurt, because right before he started dating her, I had told him I was interested in him. Looking back, I think they were together before I told him - which sucks even more. Anyway. The first couple months of them dating was fine. We still hung out, though maybe not as often.
But in the past 8 weeks or so... I have hardly heard from him at all. I saw him on Christmas Eve and we didn't get much of a chance to talk - and that's it. We went from talking every day on Gchat to not talking at all, and I have felt so, so lonely and hurt because of that. I have lots of other friends, but to have one that you were so close to just stop talking to you altogether... I feel kind of like our friendship was broken up.
So I sent him an email today just saying "Hey. We haven't talked in like 2 months. What's up with that?" He replied and made an excuse about work and asked how I was. I wrote back a little bit about what has been going on with me (just general stuff) and then asked if he wanted to grab coffee before or after church sometime. He hasn't answered that one yet.
Anyway - somehow, I just have a gut feeling that the busy/work excuse... is just that. An excuse. Not a real reason. He never stopped talking to me when he dated girls before this one. Is it just because I know her too? I don't know. It hurts. I'm not trying to be anything other than his friend... and I would hope that BOTH of them would realize that, especially since I was friends with both of them separately before they ever got together. I am not the type of person to even WANT to break up a relationship... I would never do that. I just want my friend back. Maybe that's not possible.
So that's what's going on with me tonight. Feeling overly emotional and taking it out by writing this instead of eating. That's good at least.