Friday, May 20, 2011

truth

The last time I wrote a blog, I weighed 253. As of today, I'm still there. I was up from that though at times. I'm actually down 2 lbs today from last Friday. Here is the truth of the past month or so...

-I'm doing better. I got back on the meds that I like, and I've really been noticing them start to kick in these past couple weeks. I've been tracking my calories on My Fitness Pal and that's been helping a lot. It's so much easier to track when I actually take my meds.

-I am really enjoying going to therapy. A lot. My counselor is awesome at what he does, and while progress is slow, I'm okay with that. I'm not going to change overnight... these things take time.

-Running a half marathon without having trained is just asking for immense amounts of pain. It was Wednesday before I finally felt better from running on Sunday. Sunday-Tuesday were just awful. However, my stubborness prevailed at the race, and I crossed the finish line and got my 5th half marathon medal. Could not be happier about that!

-This journey of living a healthier life is a hard one. But I've realised that if I ever want to have any chance of success, I've got to keep trying. No matter how hard it is, no matter how TIRED OF IT I am (oh, I'm so tired of it...), I will not succeed if I don't TRY.

Friday, April 8, 2011

poor neglected blog

I have not blogged lately at all - but I recently picked my other blog back up (Getting Wrecked), and so I decided it was time to start again with this one as well.

As I'm sure you can guess, I do not have much good news. For the past few months I've really been struggling with my depression meds, and just last week convinced my doctor to put me back on the ones that I like and know work for me. It means ordering them from a pharmacy outside Kaiser, but I'd rather pay extra than stay on meds I don't like.

While on the other depression meds, I gained weight like crazy. It did not help that I was not making good choices with what I was eating - but I know that at least part of that weight gain was from the meds - I could not have gained all that I did without that being part of the cause. As of Wednesday this week I weighed in at 255. (I had seen numbers in the 260s last week though.) This morning, I was at 253.

One thing that I know is going to help me in the long run is the fact that I started seeing a counselor. He is absolutely wonderful, and even 3 sessions in I know that going through counseling is going to change my life.

I'm very slowly putting my life back together. I really do want to keep going with this blog, but right now, my other blog is holding more of my attention. I'll try and get over here at least once a week though.

One last thing before I wrap up - my good friend Lindsay has started blogging, and writes a fantastic one! She only has 3 followers, and deserves to have 300! Please, please, please go check out Lindsay's blog and follow her!!! She's lost 30 pounds so far and is a great inspiration! Her blog can be found here.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

checking in...

Hey all! So I've been pretty terrible at checking in.

I'm kind of stuck right now. I'm not gaining weight, I'm not losing weight. I'm pretty much maintaining. Which is frustrating. I am having a hard time making time for exercise in my life, which is my main problem right now. I know that is a terrible excuse, but it is what it is. Eating isn't horribly, but it's not that great either. I am making decent choices most of the time. And I haven't binged in awhile, so I am really proud of that.

The triathlon group that was going to happen this summer was cancelled. Which is kind of a bummer, I really wanted to do it - but now that just means that I can focus all my energy into training for the full marathon in the fall . Yes, I know this will REQUIRE me to make time for exercise, hahaha.

So that's life right now. Hold me to posting a weigh in post next week, guys. I know I need to do it! For now, I'm off to run a few more errands and get ready for volunteering at a church thing tonight. Hope you are all having great weekends!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Thursday Weigh-In, Friday Update

Hey all! Just checking in because it is FRIDAY!!! Woohoo! I am so happy it's the weekend!

Okay so last Friday I weighed in at: 241.8.

Yesterday, (Thursday), I was at: 238.8 (-3)

So I lost 3 pounds this week! How amazing is that!?!?! Pretty dang awesome if I do say so myself. I weighed in yesterday instead of today because last night I went out to eat with my good friend Ashley. We went to our favorite Mexican restaurant and while I made good choices, I didn't want a false reading due to sodium intake. I will happily take yesterday's weight though! Hooray!

And in case you were wondering what I ordered last night - I got steak fajitas, and told them to hold the cheese and sour cream, and I asked for black beans instead of pinto. I only ate like 2 bites of my rice, and one tortilla. The rest of the time, I just ate the fajita ingredients right off the sizzling plate with my fork. Yum, yum, yum! I cannot wait to go back and get it again, it was beyond delicious! (I also ate some guacamole, too.)

Today I am stuck in internal debate. I am seriously reconsidering doing the triathlon this summer. And it isn't that I wouldn't love to do it - but right now, I have my heart absolutely set on running a marathon this fall. I just don't think I can afford to do both. The Tri class is expensive, and I am also afraid I will get so wrapped up in training for the Tri, that my marathon training would take backseat. I really don't want that - I want to fully commit to something. Right now I just have marathon brain. I can afford the marathon registration and a couple pairs of new shoes. I don't think I can afford those things AND the triathlon class. We'll see. But I will probably make a decision in the next few weeks here.

I did sign up for the same spring half marathon I've been doing for a few years now. I wasn't going to - but I just needed something to train for! I'm getting excited to start officially training for that race in a few weeks.

Aside from all things exercisey, life is great. I have taken on a new responsibility at church, and I am now the Sunday volunteer coordinator. Mostly this means that I am doing a LOT of email during the week. I'm loving it though, and I can't wait til Sunday to meet some of my volunteers!

I have kept my room clean for ALMOST 2 whole weeks. I am immensely proud of this.

Tomorrow I have my second laser appointment and then I'm going hiking. I cannot wait to get out into the mountains again, it has been way too long, and I have been itching to go for awhile. Super excited.

Apparently I can't escape talking about exercise. Well, I'm gonna get back to work. I have to start thinking about lunch, and then after work I have training. (See?!? Can't stop!)

Happy Friday, all of you!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

doing something constructive

I am an emotional eater.

When I got home from church at 1 this afternoon, I was ready to eat. Anything. But I wasn't in particularly hungry - which of course has never stopped me in the past.

I was upset. I was working on processing my thoughts about the service this morning and how scarily it spoke directly to me at this point in my life. Normally, I would have raided the kitchen, felt guilty, and proceeded to have a terrible day.

But today, I started something different. The emotions that I was struggling with after church had nothing to do with food. They had everything to do with my spiritual growth. So instead of sitting down in front of 3 bowls of frosted flakes, I sat down in front my computer with my journal and my Bible right next to me.

And I started a new blog. I spent 2 hours (no joke!) writing my first post. It was really hard, processing those emotions, and I thought about quitting several times. But I got it all out, and I honest to goodness feel far better now. I am still emotional - which is okay, I am still processing. But I do not feel guilty, bloated, or sick. I do not feel like I ruined my day. I am actually feeling just a little healthier.

My relationship with God is a big part of my life, as is my participation in my church community. I know I don't talk about it much here, as it doesn't always play a big role in the "weight loss" part of my life. Today it kind of intersected though, and I am pleased with the resulting new blog.

If you are at all interested, feel free to check out Getting Wrecked. Follow if you dare - it will include a lot of emotions, and working through whatever I am learning about at services on Sundays and Wednesdays. I'd love to have any of you along on the journey!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Friday update, just in time!

I promise I didn't forget about updating at least once a week!

So here's the bad news - I am up 3 pounds exactly from 2 weeks ago. I'm not happy with it, but I know it came directly from emotional/overeating after my accident and not exercising when I was recovering. Thankfully, I am now recovered enough to work out, and I'm back on track with my food! Yeah!

I met with Janel for the first time since before Christmas, as she was on her honeymoon for a couple weeks. We are now officially working on upping my weights, so it was an intense session last night. I'm up to 140 on leg press, which I am SO PROUD OF, because it is well over half my body weight. Heck yes! I won't bore you with the rest of my weights, but I must say I am extremely excited about increasing them.

(Aside: I know so many girls who worry about getting "bulky" and just want to be toned - which is not a bad goal, to be sure! But I am not one of those girls. Bring on the muscle! I was not built to be slight, and I never will be. I am so pleased with my muscles and my strength.)

Okay well, it is 10 on Friday night, and I'm headed to bed. I know, I'm such an exciting 26 year old, hahaha! I am going to breakfast with a good friend and one of his friends who I have never met. We are going to the very best breakfast place in Colorado (in my opinion, anyway), and I'm super excited, because it really is a treat to go there. I'm going to get what I want for breakfast, not worry over it, and then get out for some good exercise in the afternoon, even if it is just an hour long walk.

Happy weekend, everyone!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Not the best week ever...

Okay y'all it's Friday. Normally that means weigh in - which I did this morning. I am still debating counting it though.

See, I got in a car accident on Wednesday. It was not my fault, and neither of us were seriously injured, but I have been feeling terrible since then. I am pretty sore, headachey, and just completely exhausted. I'm also stressed because of the whole incident. I haven't worked out this week, and I will fully own up to eating a little too much since Wednesday night. So yeah, I'm up a few pounds. Blah.

On a lighter note - welcome to all my new followers! I'm so happy to have you here, and I promise I will get around to visiting your blogs this coming week!

I've got an award from Kelly to answer, and I've also got some cool stuff going on in the non food/exercise/health realm of my life that I am excited to share with you all. So stay tuned - I'll try to get that done this weekend. =)

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Trying something different


Thanks for watching! To check out Kelly's blog, go here.

Friday, January 7, 2011

First Friday

Happy New Year, all!

I have to admit, over the past few months, I have been a truly terrible blogger. As in, it's a lot if I do more than 2 posts a month. I'm not thrilled with that, but the truth of the matter is - my life has just gotten really busy.

I work out two or three nights a week. I go to church twice a week, and on one of those days I also volunteer. I have choir on Sunday nights. I babysit at least once a month, if not more. Add in spending time with friends, and I suddenly seem to have more of a life than I ever had before! Which not bad at all - in fact, it's very healthy! But with this transition, blogging was unintentionally put on the back burner.

I'm going to try to get back to blogging in 2011. It's not going to be every day, to be sure. But I will try to do it at least once a week - on Fridays, for weigh ins, at the very least.

I am sad to say that I have gained back nearly all of what I lost. I started 2011 at 243.2. This makes me really frustrated, I worked SO hard to lose 50 pounds. I was even in the 100s for a few weeks!!! But I stopped counting calories and it all went downhill from there.

I'm not going to give up though. Just starting over. Starting over always kind of sucks the first few days... but now, I'm feeling good about being back.

Since today is Friday, that means it's weigh in day. So with no futher ado... let's get to it.


Starting Weight: 250.3
Last Week: 243.2

Today: 238.8 (-4.4)




Bring it, 2011.