And I can't do that. I just can't. I need to completely re-teach myself everything I learned last October when I first started this journey. It's really embarrassing. I feel terrible writing this. I weighed myself this evening, even though I said I wasn't going to. 219.
I can't believe I let myself get to this point again. Guys, I need help. It's like I see a number I don't want on the scale... or one of my shirts starts to get tight again... and I panic. And when I panic, I eat.
One of the other big things I am having a problem with is taking my meds. I keep forgetting to take them, and it is really screwing with me. I feel so much better when I take them, and I really do think they help me make better decisions. So why can't I remember to take them? It's not like it's a hard thing to do.
I'm going to go now. I'm going to get some of my weight loss books out and read them while I do laundry tonight. I am going to prep for my long run tomorrow, and then tomorrow morning, I am going to do it. I am going to plan tonight what I am going to eat tomorrow, and I'm not going to let anything stop me from staying on track. And I'm not going to focus on anything beyond tomorrow. If I try that, it's going to send me right back into panic mode.