Monday, March 22, 2010

Q&A

So I am sure that many of you follow Jack Sh*t, and know of his questions that he asked last Wednesday. (And if you don't, you really should.) Since I haven't posted since Friday, mostly because not a lot of interest has happened, I thought I would tackle these questions today. Enjoy!

Why do you suppose you let your life be less than you imagined it to be?
I think because it was easier, emotionally, to ignore the fact that I was overweight than to do anything about it. I thought because I was overweight, I didn't deserve to have that life. But I know better than that now. Ignorance is not always bliss. In this case, ignorance was stupidity, and a set up for the massive load of work I have been tackling since September. In the end, I am worth it, and I do deserve an incredible life - even if I never lose another pound.

Why do you stumble so often despite all your good intentions?
To put it simply, because I am human. I'm not perfect. You are not perfect. So let's not pretend that we are, or even that we should be. As tough as stumbling is, it gives us the chance to stand right back up and start again.

Why do you sabotage yourself?
Sometimes I don't realize what I am doing until after I have done it. I'm getting better at recognizing my triggers, and what causes me to want to self-sabotage. I think at the very heart of it, that I am afraid. I have been overweight for most of my life, and ALL of my adult life. I don't know anything else. So this journey is completely new, and sometimes a little scary. I worry about what my far-away friends think, or what they will say when they see me next. I worry about letting other people down, and letting myself down. If I wasn't changing, I wouldn't really have to worry about these things.

Why are you here anyway?
I'm here because I need to be. I have too many extra pounds that are holding me back from what I want to be doing with my life. I want to be healthy, and to live a healthy life. I want to be able to run longer distances, faster. I don't want to be a hundred pounds overweight anymore. I can't live like that any longer, and I refuse to.

If you’re making it, if you’re succeeding on this weight-loss journey, tell me why this time is different than all the others.
Having lost 46.5 pounds so far, I would like to consider that succeeding. And to be honest... this is the first time I've tried this. I mean, really, truly, tried. So there haven't really been any other times. Maybe half hearted attempts, or serious thoughts about trying... but not much effort. So I guess this time is different because I am putting in the work that I need to be doing, and I am believing that it will work.

Why are you going to make it this time when you’ve fallen short before?
See the above answer. I believe that I can do this. I know that I can. And I'm working really hard and refusing to give up, even when I have setbacks. I can't do much more than that.

Why are you going to keep it off this time when you’ve gained it back before?
Well, like I've said previously, I've never lost weight before. Okay, maybe 10 pounds or so... but certainly not 46.5. But I know I will keep it off. There is no way in hell that I am about to do all this work just to do it again. Plus, I love exercise. I get cranky when I don't get to go to the gym, or out for a run. That habit is firmly established, as is the knowledge that I am a runner, and will always be looking for new and longer races to run. Eventually, I will run a marathon, and probably not just the one. You can't be a serious distance runner and not care about what you are putting into your body as fuel. Right now, I'm better at the exercise part than the food part of this journey, but I'm working on it. This is a lifelong process, I know. But I'm only going forward now. I might glance in the rearview mirror now and again... but I'm never going back.

Why are you a different person now than you were before?
Because I care about myself now. I care about what I am eating, and I care about going to the gym. I am no longer blowing off the very concerning problem of my weight. I am actively doing something about it. I believe in myself, and I know that what I am doing is important, worthwhile, and achievable. I am excited about who I am and who I am becoming. That's all there is to it.

Haven't answered these questions yet? I highly recommend doing it, it's a great exercise. Jack's original post can be found here.

4 comments:

  1. Jack really makes us think, doesn't he? I think it's outstanding that you took time to answer these questions honestly for yourself. I've answered them as well (in my head.) And I think it's so important to recognize where we are.
    You said "I might glance in the rear view mirror once in a while, but I'm not going back." And I love it because it's so true. We just have to continue moving forward - or waste life wishing we did.
    You have accomplished so much already. You should be sooooooo proud of yourself!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love Jack. He's a dreamboat.

    Wait... how do I make this comment be from Anonymous?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Seriously, nice post. Love the deep dive.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are an inspiration to me. So much.

    ReplyDelete