Monday, March 8, 2010


This is how I feel lately. Like I am being sucked up... maybe not by a chair, though. I am starting to apply for a new job. Not that I don't enjoy what I'm doing now, but once I use up my AmeriCorps award money, I won't be able to afford my loan payments with what I'm making currently. I worked all weekend this weekend at my second once-a-month job, and then my boss called me to come in early today. When I got there, as soon as I got in the room, she asked me how I was and I pretty much burst into tears. I couldn't even control them.

I am so tired. Working 12 days in a row once a month is starting to get old fast. Which sucks, because I really like my weekend job. And I want to do a good job at both of them, but I don't know if I can anymore.

My eating has been out of control these past few days, I've been eating emotionally, and I am currently very emotional. I don't feel good. I want to exercise, but I skipped my workout tonight because I am simply drained. No energy. I am going to get lots of sleep tonight and hope that I feel better tomorrow.

I know this sounds like a lot of complaining, and for that I am sorry. I just feel like I'm sinking fast and backtracking to where I do not want to go. Any words of encouragement or advice would be greatly appreciated.


  1. Of all the things that seem out of control right now, know that the things that you can control are the healthy habits that you have so painstakingly developed over the last several months!

    and if your loans are through Direct Loans, look into your deferment options again. I know there's an option where if you don't make more than so many dollars per year you can get a deferment. I think it's called a forbearance deferment. So while you're hard at work finding a job that will allow you to pay off your loans and you're worried about running out of cash to pay your loans, know that there are other options!!

    Sending you love and kitteh snuggles from Bee and Ollie!! <3 Kate

  2. Yeah I'm not too worried about the loans right now. I have plenty of AmeriCorps money for at least several more months. That is just why I am starting to look for a new job.

  3. Hang in there, make sure you exercise even if it is only a stroll on the treadmill for 20 minutes, and take your vitamins.

  4. oh my dear. i just discussed with my therapist how i am feeling some of these very same things. no fun. im with ya friend. thinking bout ya.