Wednesday, December 2, 2009

No news... is probably bad news.

Blahhhh. This week is no better than last week. I keep eating junk, and I don't want to, it just keeps happening. It's like I lost every ounce of self control. I hate it. I feel like it is slowly getting better, but it is going soooooo slowly.

I am going to bed at a normal time, and every morning I wake up hurting and exhausted. Which means I have not exercised more than once this week. I am seriously considering getting a personal trainer at the YMCA where I work. Not every day, not even once a week, but if I had a session or two, I think I could get the hang of it and get a routine going. Plus since I'm an employee, I get a discount, yay.

Every so often, in a mirror or a window, I see my reflection and can catch a glimpse of what I might look like when I lose more weight. Maybe it's something in my face, or the way my legs look, or maybe something different. But it is what keeps me going, when everything feels terrible, like it has recently.

Also, as far as feeling terrible goes, I am going to go see a doctor in January and talk about changing/adding onto my depression meds. I'm just not feeling great and I have no motivation whatsoever, which is not usually a problem for me. If I want to do something, I do it. But right now, I have the desire to be more active, but I simply can't do it. No matter how much I want to.

On a lighter note, I am glad that it is now the season to watch Christmas movies. I don't like much Christmas music, so I make do with watching lots of Christmas movies. Tonight it's While You Were Sleeping. Good times. =)


  1. Hi There!

    Just found your blog randomly and I just wanted to know I know EXACTLY how you feel. It gets so frustrating when you have those days that you just feel ICK. One thing that I heard from a WW coach once is that falling off the bandwagon one, or even a couple days, doesn't mean everything is blown. You can do this! (I'm talking to myself here too because i struggle with the same thing). Anyway, just thought I'd send some encouragement your way!

  2. hang in there, girl. Just keep gettin up. Re: meds--I have two thoughts. First, anitdepression meds do often need to be adjusted--sometimes even changed after a while. And, two, hopefully the MD will do some blood work. Can't tell--maybe your thyroid is running low. I'm proud of you for hanging in there. Deb

  3. You rock, "on plan" or "off plan". You have motivated me in so many ways. You have done an amazing job thus far, allow yourself some time to get refreshed and Just do well tomorrow, thats all. Focus on the day at hand.