Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Relearning How to Live

Okay. So I just finished reading this book. It's called "Half-Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir." It's by Jennette Fulda. I could not put it down. (That is not literally true, I had to, but only to sleep!!!) This book is awesome. I have never been more inspired to eat right, and to exercise, and to actually commit to making myself more healthy. Parts of this book startled me, because I could have written them.

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. Well, maybe not in first grade... but pretty much everything after that. I had a lot of pride in the fact that most days, I could accept myself as I was. I could find things that I liked about my body. And then I read this line: "When I finally accepted myself, I accepted that I didn't want to be fat. And that was okay." (p. 51) (Like how I quote, like I'm still in college? Ha ha.)

But that quote really made me think. It stuck in the back of my head for the whole rest of the time I was reading. Maybe I haven't completely accepted myself. I don't want to be fat. But being a a fairly self confident, outgoing, independent person, it is really hard to admit that I could be wrong about something so huge.

Jennette, the writer of this book, lost 200 pounds over the course of two years. Now, I don't have 200 pounds to lose. But I do have at least 100. At my doctor's visit last week, I weighed 250.3. That's less than my highest, but still not anything to be proud of.

In the book, Jennette says that making the decision to lose weight is like making the decision to get married, or moving to another city. And I've spent the last couple days deciding that yes, I want to lose weight. Yes, I want to be healthier. Yes, I want to have more energy, and to get more exercise. So I'm committing. It's scary, I'm not going to lie. I know that I will have setbacks, and frustrations.

But I finally made the decision. And it's something I'm really excited about.

1 comment:

  1. The toughest step is to actually commit to yourself. I know what that's like, and I tried many different things before I finally had had enough, and finally made the commitment.

    Congratulations on having taken that first and most difficult step, and how far you've come since then.