Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I have a lot to say...

Sometimes I feel like when I start a new blog, I have TONS of things to say, and then I write two entries a day and after a week or two, I am fresh out of material. I'm trying not to do that now. So for now, I will just write about how my day was today.

The blessing and the curse of working in childcare: We are allowed to eat the school lunches. Sometimes, the meals are gross and totally not anything an adult would put in their mouth. But sometimes the meal is macaroni and cheese or bean burritos. And then it is super hard to resist. On Monday, before I started this journey, I had a burrito. Today was mac and cheese... it didn't look amazing, but it looked pretty decent. It took all that was in me to resist. Instead, I ate my packed-at-home lunch of yogurt, granola, and an apple. It was actually pretty tasty!

Then I came home and made dinner. I had a salad, some spaghetti, a couple grilled chicken strips, and sauce that we made here a week ago. We dumped a whole load of fresh veggies in with a jar of Kroger brand spaghetti sauce and then put it in a plastic container. It was really, really good. Onions, peppers, zucchini, carrots, and it all pretty much tastes like the sauce! It was nice to sneak some extra veggies into my meal, although the salad was delicious as well.

I feel really, really, good about today. I took a walk, I ate well, and I wasn't left feeling hungry! I'm not counting calories or anything, but I know for a fact I made good choices for all of my foods today. Off to a good start!

New Routine

Every morning, I wake up by getting on my computer and checking all my websites. This takes maybe 15 or 20 minutes, but I can usually stretch it to at least half an hour. This was how I began my day today.

The difference between today and yesterday is that today after I finished up online I went to the kitchen and ate an apple. Because it was the healthy choice? Yes. Because I actually kind of wanted the apple? Yes, that too. After that, I changed and headed out my front door for a walk. The nice thing about my job is that my shift is 11-6, which means I have a lot of time in the morning. I decided to fill some of that time with walking.

Now, I think I should probably explain something here. Being a walker is something entirely new to me. I am a runner. I have done a good handful of 5Ks, a 10K, and two half marathons. It was kind of difficult for me to go out and see so many runners this morning. I wanted to be running, especially when I saw my housemate out for her morning run! We both stopped and chatted for a couple minutes, but soon parted ways, she on her way home, and myself heading out a little further.

I need to do this exercise thing right, though. Last spring when I did my half marathon, I jumped right into a training plan without bothering to build my base back up at all. I think this is why it was so incredibly hard and painful. So for now, I'm "taking it easy" by starting with a daily morning walking routine. Once I have that down, I'll start by adding running in a little at a time. That said, my walk this morning was an hour long (half hour out, half hour back), and when I plotted my route on Gmaps pedometer, my milage was 3.1. An unofficial 5K! I feel good, and ready to start my day.

I'm also still hungry. (Well, I did only have an apple...) So I'm going to go whip up some yogurt and granola. Or maybe a bowl of cereal. We'll see. Breakfast, as yet, has no routine.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Relearning How to Live

Okay. So I just finished reading this book. It's called "Half-Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir." It's by Jennette Fulda. I could not put it down. (That is not literally true, I had to, but only to sleep!!!) This book is awesome. I have never been more inspired to eat right, and to exercise, and to actually commit to making myself more healthy. Parts of this book startled me, because I could have written them.

I have struggled with my weight my entire life. Well, maybe not in first grade... but pretty much everything after that. I had a lot of pride in the fact that most days, I could accept myself as I was. I could find things that I liked about my body. And then I read this line: "When I finally accepted myself, I accepted that I didn't want to be fat. And that was okay." (p. 51) (Like how I quote, like I'm still in college? Ha ha.)

But that quote really made me think. It stuck in the back of my head for the whole rest of the time I was reading. Maybe I haven't completely accepted myself. I don't want to be fat. But being a a fairly self confident, outgoing, independent person, it is really hard to admit that I could be wrong about something so huge.

Jennette, the writer of this book, lost 200 pounds over the course of two years. Now, I don't have 200 pounds to lose. But I do have at least 100. At my doctor's visit last week, I weighed 250.3. That's less than my highest, but still not anything to be proud of.

In the book, Jennette says that making the decision to lose weight is like making the decision to get married, or moving to another city. And I've spent the last couple days deciding that yes, I want to lose weight. Yes, I want to be healthier. Yes, I want to have more energy, and to get more exercise. So I'm committing. It's scary, I'm not going to lie. I know that I will have setbacks, and frustrations.

But I finally made the decision. And it's something I'm really excited about.